Denial

This is the first time I have ever used the word “deaf” or “disability”.

At the workplace before, the HR question would be: “Do you need accommodations?” and that meant nothing to me… “Wearing a hearing aid was like it is like wearing glasses!” I would say.
No need, not to bother.

Being Hard of Hearing (HoH) was something I mentally accepted early on, and other than peer awareness, I considered it to be completely normal.

It is using this “d” word that puzzles me. I am going deaf… and already into the deaf spectrum. What does this mean? I need to use this word disability, an ugly, challenging label?

Life is much worse if I stray away from pronouncing it in a statement.

But when I can, accessibility is the word of preference. 

Acceptance:

“Disability”, in essence, is a horrible word if you look at English descriptor words in the thesaurus or dictionary. Many with the meaning of “lack of”, “disadvantage”, handicap” or a plethora of other words with slight lacking something.

Language is a great perspective of how society is perceiving those who do not have, it means required accommodation or difference.

So, society, as it must, needs a word for such a fuss. I now pronounce this word with gutso, to be clear to those who can hear. To be just. FOR ME.

The words and definition might come with a slightly different label, but society needs a reference, a term that it can understand. I articulate, I stop and re-iterate. And then a realize…. this is not a label, this is a word that will allow me to be heard. This label… is. not. me.

The other “d” and capital “D”. 

The other “d” word is “deaf”. The other, other “D” word is Deaf. The first is someone who lost hearing later in life, the latter is that who spent most of their life not knowing what it is like to hear and it is a part of their culture. The first has grieved a loss, the second is fighting the life-long oppression in the world of the hearing.

It’s amazing the complexity of a simple word. It is used by many, in and out of context. There is the full deaf spectrum of hearing loss: culturally Deaf, oral deaf, late-deafened, and Hard of Hearing (HoH) people who do not hear clarity in speech and do not benefit from hearing aids, or those who wear cochlear implants.

The similarities between many that relate to this word are this: the daily obstacle course. Life is made for the hearing, therefore this “d” gives us a fight.

Re-alignment

The argument is real. On a personal note, it’s a battle or complacency. Using the “d” word means the difference between inclusion or my own indifference.

Like ammo or weapons, I pack these words in my bag and bring them out when I need to be heard. I use whatever words hold weight to seat me at my rightful place at these lively discussions in life.